Harry hates himself for putting royal role above Meghans suicidal thoughts

Prince Harry has reflected on the way he handled the news that wife Meghan Markle felt suicidal as a result of the pressure they faced as senior royals, heartbreakingly admitting he "hates himself" for his response.

In the fifth episode of Harry & Meghan, the couple candidly open up how they were “both struggling” during their relationship.

Discussing the former Suits actress having suicidal thoughts, he said: “It was devastating. I never thought that it would get to that stage, and the fact that it got to that stage, I felt… angry and ashamed.”

Harry went on: “I didn’t deal with it particularly well. I dealt with it as institutional Harry as opposed to husband Harry. And what took over my feelings was my royal role.”

The dad-of-two went on to say that he “hates himself” for how he dealt with it.

“What she needed from me was so much more than I was able to give,” he continued.

Harry further explained that the Palace “knew how bad it was” with Meghan, but questioned why she “couldn’t just deal with it”.

His comments come shortly after the Duchess of Sussex explains how she was left feeling suicidal after a royal engagement in Liverpool.

She explains: "We had a walkabout in Liverpool and there was a group of women, and one of them said to me, 'What you're doing to your father's not right'.

"It was the first time that I went, 'Oh my God. People actually believe this stuff.'

Meghan continues: "And then my entire centre was rocked to its core. I was really scared. It was like… all of this will stop if I'm not here."

Earlier on in the episode, Meghan shares that their private secretary admitted that the Royals would “find her hard to adjust to”.

“What she said to me was, it’s like this fish that’s swimming perfectly, powerful, it’s on the right current,” Meghan began. “Then one day this whole organism comes in. This foreign organism.”

The episode then shows several newspaper titles following the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s engagement news.

Meghan went on: “Then the entire thing goes, ‘What is that? What is it doing here? It doesn’t look like us, it doesn’t move like us, we don’t like it. Get it off of us’.

“[Our private secretary] explained that they'll soon see that [the Firm] is stronger, faster and better with this organism as part of it. It will be hard for them at the beginning to adjust to this new thing, but then it’ll be amazing.”

“I was really hopeful that that was true,” she added.

If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.


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