I am scared to come clean about cheating on my lesbian wife by kissing a man

DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH my wife and I have a very happy lesbian marriage, I’m worried I’ve thrown it all away by kissing a man twice on a night out.

I’m 32 and my wife is 34 . I think she might leave me if I tell her.


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I was with mates from college and we went back to a friend’s house.

I was catching up with a man I’ve known for years. Without warning he kissed me.

Instead of pulling away, I kissed him back.

Later he apologised but then kissed me again. I didn’t pull away and I kissed him back.

I’m definitely a lesbian and I love my wife. I’m not sure what was going on in my head and I’m full of regret.

I know I’ll never do it again. Do I need to tell her?

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DEIDRE SAYS: While I always encourage good communication, telling your wife would simply serve to unburden you of guilt and put the burden of knowledge on her.

You say you regret these fleeting kisses, are still committed to her and have also learned from this, so there is little to be gained from telling her.

This hiccup is a good opportunity to check you are still working well together.

I am sending you my support pack Relationship MOT to help

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