I can’t deny my desire to watch a couple having sex but I've never acted on it
DEAR DEIDRE: THE sound of my friend’s older sister and her partner having sex used to really turn me on when I was teenager and now I’ve developed a full-on fetish.
I’m a 35-year-old single male and while I’ve had plenty of girlfriends, I’ve never had the courage to act on my fantasy.
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In my late teens I would stay with my friend.
At night I would hear his stunning sister and her boyfriend in the next bedroom and I found it so erotic.
Now I can’t deny my desire to watch a couple having sex.
In my fantasy the woman simply turns and smiles at me then carries on with her partner.
I’ve started to look online for a couple who would indulge my fantasy.
Does this make me weird?
DEIDRE SAYS: What you describe is voyeurism, a fetish whereby people get sexual satisfaction from watching others have sex.
Your fetish is likely to be rooted in those formative experiences.
There is nothing wrong with this – or with any other fetishes as long as everyone involved consents and isn’t getting hurt.
So if the couple involved have full consent, this is fine.
Although if they didn’t know you were watching, it would be wrong and against the law.
I am sending you my support pack Fetish Worry to reassure you.
If you want to talk this through with an experienced counsellor, the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8543 2707) will help.
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