I have been with a man who hasn’t once bought me a gift in nine years

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been in a relationship for nine years with a man who hasn’t once bought me a card, a gift, even flowers.

I am a 50-year-old widow with daughters of 19 and 23. 


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This man is my age but emotionally frigid. He says he doesn’t believe in marking birthdays, Christmas or anniversaries.

That was fine to begin with, as I was hesitant to get into another relationship after losing my husband.

But it’s been nine years and I’ve finally realised he just doesn’t want to make the effort. I thought he’d at least get a card for my 50th, but nothing.

He has suggested we move in together but the thought depresses me now.

DEIDRE SAYS: Getting together with this man clearly suited you when you were too vulnerable to commit to someone who was emotionally available.

Your partner probably grew up in a cold family and doesn’t know how to show he cares.

You do need to talk to him about how his behaviour hurts you. If he isn’t willing to compromise, then you need to move on.

You are ready to meet someone who wants to make you feel special.

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