I have fallen in love with my dead best friend’s fiancée

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM in love with my dead best friend’s fiancée but I think she only sees me as a friend.

My mate was 32 when he died of leukaemia last year. I’ve helped his girlfriend since, as I was close to them both.


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Our other friends know I like her but they don’t know I have sexual feelings for her. She is 27 and I am 31.

I know she lies to me about having sex with other guys and I don’t know what to do.

Should I tell her how I feel?

DEIDRE SAYS: I suspect she knows. But grief affects people in different ways and your friend’s fiancée is an adult who should not feel she has to answer to you.

It’s best you accept she is not ready for a relationship and you need to be her friend. But also get out with other mates and build up different interests so all your focus is not on her.

Also, some bereavement counselling could help her and you. Have a look at thegoodgrieftrust.org.

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