‘I tried for a baby for a year before my husband told me he’d had a vasectomy’
A woman has shared her shock after trying for a baby with her husband only to discover that he had a vasectomy without telling her.
Ashley’s* boyfriend popped the question and the couple sat down to discuss their future before tying the knot.
When asked whether she wanted children, she said “if it happens, it happens”.
After getting married, the couple spent several happy years together as a duo.
But, then Ashley realised that she would like to be a mum and expressed this to her partner.
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Writing for Honey9, she explained: "I immediately regretted using those exact words that 'I'd changed my mind', though, because it's what Matthew pounced on.
“Because it was more like I'd never been sure either way, but now I knew.
“I was surprised he was so shocked and that he was clearly angry about it.
“He said we'd mapped out a life without children, which I didn't think we had."
During their row, Ashley’s husband brought up that they couldn’t complete their travel bucket list with children in tow.
However, after several weeks of arguments, he suddenly came home and said that he had changed his mind too.
Ashley and her partner started trying for a baby, but after six months of no luck they went to the doctor to check all was OK.
They were told that it can normally take a year to conceive, but when that date also passed they were sent off to specialists.
The night before his appointment, Ashley’s husband suddenly told her he knew why they weren’t getting pregnant.
Apparently, during his first marriage, neither he nor his ex-wife wanted children.
So, he had a vasectomy.
Ashley said: "It felt like he was speaking another language. I couldn't understand what he was saying.
“We had been trying for a baby for a full year, with him knowing full well that it was impossible.
“It was unbelievable. He wasn't leaving it up to fate. He had already predetermined it."
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The bloke tried to explain himself and reminded Ashley that she might not really want kids anyway.
He claimed that he took her "if it's meant to be, it'll be" comment during their engagement night conversation to mean she would be OK with him not being able to have children.
But, Ashley couldn’t come to terms with the lie and decided to end their marriage.
Now, she lives in New York and is seeing a therapist to deal with her emotions around the situation.
*Ashley's name has been changed.
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