My son didn't even come see me on my 60th birthday – it hurt me so much
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM so upset that my son didn’t come to see me on my 60th birthday. He didn’t even call. All he did was chip in for a gift.
He went to his girlfriend’s mum’s birthday and it wasn’t a special number like mine.
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My daughter made an effort and came to see me with gifts and a cake. My wife recently had a birthday. She was 57 and my son came to visit her.
My son is 30. I have always been there for my children. I’m angry that they seem closer to my wife than me, even though I know my wife was mostly there for them while I worked long hours.
My son said that a colleague had Covid symptoms and he’d stay away but I think this was just an excuse.
I haven’t asked him why he treats me differently and keeps me at arm’s length. Did I do something wrong?
I just pretend all is well, when inside I’m hurting so much.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve done nothing wrong, don’t take it personally.
First, think why having your son celebrate your birthday is so crucial for you. Does this hark back to feeling your birthday was ignored when you were a child?
You can let your son know it would mean a lot to you to share your birthday with him without casting any accusations.
Invite him and his girlfriend over – and don’t sound critical. You can’t change other people but you can change yourself.
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