Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend
What’s happening: It’s a busy, busy, busy week ahead, y’all. Tonight, Mercury enters Aquarius, Venus enters Capricorn, and the Sun connects with dreamy Neptune. On Saturday, the love planets Venus and Mars, which are both in sensual earth signs, harmonize—but Mercury connects with Saturn, the planet of blockages, and makes it tough to get through to others.
Then, on Monday, Mercury connects with Jupiter, the planet of luck, bringing exciting conversations and connections. On Tuesday, Mercury squares off with Uranus, the planet of surprises and disruption, and on Wednesday, Venus harmonizes nicely with Uranus. But that same day, Mars squares with Saturn, seriously killing your sex drive. Finally, on Thursday, the Sun runs into Pluto, the planet of power and transformation.
PS: Remember to be mindful of COVID safety guidelines when dating—think exchanging nudes, trying out phone sex, or going on a cute virtual date.
What that means for you:
If you’re trying to take your love life more seriously, this is the weekend to get to work. Venus in Capricorn makes you want to put a label on your relationship—FWBs and flirtationships are not the move. If you’re stuck in a love drought, Mercury in Aquarius is perfect for making new connections—so check your dating apps. Anything casual is out of the picture, but if your relationship goals include a committed LTR, now’s the time to make some magic happen!
You’re starting to feel more adventurous, aren’t you? Capricorn season’s buoyant, fun vibes are making it way easier to put yourself out there, and now that Venus has joined the party in your fellow earth sign, you can expect your love life to start heating up a ton. Mars in your sign rn is amping up your sex drive, but prepare to be surprised, bc you might catch feels for someone who’s totally not your usual type now. Whether you’re single or boo’d up, take the old saying “variety is the spice of life” and apply it to your love life.
It’s a pretty heavy week ahead for you, NGL. Venus in Capricorn is making you prioritize commitment and stability in your love life, so you risk catching feelings for any flirtationship. You’re also being asked to look at your love life from a more practical perspective—what do you really want? You have a million thoughts in your head at a time, so deciding on relationship goals is tough—they’re always changing! Get serious for one hot minute, and figure out what you want/need from your love life, and decide how you’re going to get it. You want a LTR? Stop playing games with all of your Tinder matches! You want to turn your BFF into a FWB? Stop joking around about it, and actually talk to them about it! You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to get what you want if you just ask.
Tonight’s pleasant blend of astro-weather is helping you to turn up the heat in your love life, Cancer. Mercury in Aquarius is helping you make the intimate, emotional connections that you crave (and it makes your sex life way nicer to boot), and Venus in Capricorn (plus Capricorn season’s vibes) makes the next couple of weeks into a mini cuffing season for your sign. If you’re looking for more romance, Neptune’s dreamy influence tonight is perfect—and it’s not bad for amazing sex, either. Sometime during the week you might feel like you’re being ignored or ghosted after your fun weekend, but DW, it won’t last long.
Even though Capricorn season is making work your top priority, Venus entering Capricorn suggests that you might hit it off with your cute coworker! On Saturday, you might get left on read or butt heads with your boo—take care of the situation quickly, because Wednesday’s rough astro-weather might make what was a tiny problem turn into a huuuuge issue. With that all being said, Mercury entering Aquarius this weekend makes it much easier for you to connect with others, compromise, and work on balancing your relationships, so you’ll (probs) end up being just fine at the end of the week.
All of the pleasant astro-weather happening now is activating your chart’s fifth house, which rules romance, sex, and fun, so it’s safe to say that you’re having a good-ass time! You feel more confident and extroverted, so sliding into your crush’s DMs is a total breeze. You’re letting down your walls, opening up to others, and you can find tons of romance now, too—but you need to take charge and initiate the changes you want to make in your love life. Intense Pluto shows up on Thursday and fills you with grit and determination, so whoever or whatever you want, you’re practically guaranteed to get it—all you need to do is shoot your shot!
As a cardinal sign, you’re one of the zodiac’s “initiators.” You’re the sign of relationships, so starting (and maintaining) healthy connections is totally your thing. But Saturn’s influence this weekend is killing your sex drive and making your love life dryer than the Mojave desert—it is seriously not fun. However, Mercury in Aquarius is activating your chart’s romance/sex zone for the next three weeks, and this week it teams up with Jupiter, the planet of luck. After you get over the initial speed bump from Saturn this weekend, you can expect your love life to get a major glow-up!
You’re 🔥, Scorpio! Venus enters Capricorn tonight, making it easy to get your flirt on and find a sexy new special someone. Whether you’re looking for a FWB or LTR, you’re finding a lot of success with your love life. This weekend is best for more ~romantic~ pursuits, so if you’re just in the mood for a hot sexting sesh, wait ‘til the end of the week when Venus and Uranus, the planet of surprises, link up.
Sorry bb, but getting lucky doesn’t seem to be in the stars for you right now. You’re the most upbeat, fun-loving sign, but all of the astro-weather in Capricorn right now is killing your vibe. You’re either clocking in extra hours all week or just feeling stuck at home, so unless you happen to flirt it up in the office Slack, this week looks pretty dry. But just wait, once this dreary astro-weather blows over, Mercury in Aquarius will make finding your next flirtationship a breeze!
Venus entering your sign kicks off a splendid few weeks where you become a total babe magnet. You’re looking good, feeling gorgeous, and when Venus connects with Mars, the planet of libido, on Saturday, your love life is heating up. This is the best transit, period, for romance, so defs take advantage of it this weekend. Wednesday is a tough day for your love life. It’s starting to feel stale, and you’re feeling way less satisfied—especially in bed. The solution? Buy some fun toys, try a new kink, just do anything that feels new!
This weekend, an ex is stirring up trouble, and it is seriously bugging you. The stars are asking you to put your love life on hold for a hot minute and look back. Past love affairs, flirtationships, or messy breakups that you haven’t fully dealt with need to reach their conclusion before you can move forward. It sucks, but if you approach the situation from an honest, practical perspective, you can squash the beef for good. You might turn your ex into your friend, or even start dating them again if you want to!
Mercury in Aquarius is a pretty crappy time for your sign, NGL. It can bring up old drama with an ex, so keep your eyes peeled for them, especially this week. Other than that, there’s some exciting action coming your way as long! The love planets, Venus and Mars, hook up on Saturday. This makes it much easier to find romance (or a hot sexting sesh if that’s what you’re interested in), and it turns your usually shy self into someone way more extroverted! Surprising new connections are coming at the end of the week, so make sure you’re checking your dating apps regularly—your next special someone might be waiting for you to reply to their DM!
Happy New Year! You deserve some astro merch:
Cosmo Merch: Astro Collection
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