Bride's step-dad fumes after he wasn't asked to walk her down aisle

My stepfather of 14 years is insisting on walking me down the aisle as a show of ‘respect’ – but people say he’s entitled

  • Bride’s step-father argued he should be ‘respected and honored’ on her big day
  • READ MORE: Bride reveals her cousin bought the SAME wedding dress

A man has been branded ‘entitled’ with a ‘fragile ego’ after insisting his stepdaughter should let him walk her down the aisle on her wedding day instead of her mother.

Taking to Reddit, the mother-of-the bride, who appears to be from the US, explained that her partner argued that he should be ‘respected and honored for his contribution’ to her children’s lives.

The mother-of-two explained that her children’s biological father died when they were just six and eight and she remarried four years later. 

However many rushed to the comments to defend the bride’s decision asking why the step-father feels ‘more entitled’ to the honour than her own mother. 

The post asked: ‘Am I the a****** for accepting my daughter’s request for me to walk her down the aisle and fill in for a mother/daughter dance at her wedding when my husband has been her stepdad since she was 10?’

Taking to Reddit, the mother-of-the bride, who appears to be from the US, explained that her daughter has asked her to walk her down the aisle instead (stock image) 

It read: ‘I lost my first husband when our children were six and eight years old. I remarried four years later. 

‘I met my husband a year after losing my late husband, we were friends for several months, dated some, stronger feelings developed and I introduced him to the kids to see how they would get along, we halted for a year while my kids and I did some therapy because their reaction to my husband was strongly negative, because they didn’t want to replace their dad. But once therapy was ongoing they were doing better. 

‘From there things moved faster but the kids were on board for things to move on. They were clear, however, that my husband was not going to be filling the role of a dad in their lives. My husband said he was fine with that as long as he was respected and they could work toward being caring family.

‘[My daughter] and I were always close but she was a real daddy’s girl. Losing her dad was extremely tough for her.  She did form a nice relationship with my husband but it comes nowhere close to the bond she had with her dad. 

‘From the age of 12 she and I became much closer. I think my parenting style as well as my willingness to talk about her dad even after I remarried made me someone she felt she could be open with. 

‘She was 15 when she told me if she ever got married she would want me to walk her down the aisle and for us to do a mother/daughter dance instead of a father/daughter one. 

‘I told her we could dance to the song her dad used to sing to her. She said she loved the idea. Even though she seemed to mean it, I always assumed things would change when she got older. 

‘I figured she would choose to walk alone, with her brother as a representation of her dad and their close relationship as well as for the societal expectation for a man to do it, or with her husband. 

‘But when she got engaged three weeks ago she asked me right away. She brought up our past conversation and told me she wanted exactly that. I told her I would be honored. We cried tears of joy together. I told her that her dad would be so proud.

‘My husband took the news in a way I did not expect. His first question was whether I suggested she ask us both to do it and I told him no. 

She continued: ‘Then he asked if she ever considered asking him and I said I could not answer that for her. He asked me if I thought of him when I said yes. He asked whether I gave any thought to all he has done for [my daughter], for both kids, and the fact he’s still not looked upon as a fatherly figure all these years later. 

‘I told him I did not think of him when asked because I was overjoyed. He told me I should have given him a lot more consideration and I should have tried to compromise with my daughter.

‘I thought he would change his stance but now three weeks on and he feels I was wrong. He told me he felt he deserved more from all of us, but especially me. He said I am his wife. I should be working on making sure he is respected and honored for his contribution to the kids’ lives. AITA?’

People rushed to the comments to argue that the step-father should respect the bride’s wishes, while other said he’s an ‘entitled step parent’.

One person said: ‘NTA, your husband should respect your daughter’s wishes. Although I wonder, does he feel entitled because he’s the stepfather or is he contributing financially with the wedding? 

‘If it’s the latter, maybe that’s why he feels that way? Either way is your daughter’s decision.’

Another said: ‘Exactly! Why he feels entitled to make this joyous moment about him? Why is he not going to OP’s daughter to ask all of this, because she is the one making this decision. OP NTA direct your husband to your daughter and do not feel bad at all about this!’

Someone else wrote: ‘Your husband needs to learn that respect is a two-way street. He can’t just arbitrarily demand that you and your daughter cater to his fragile ego and respect his wishes when he’s completely willing to disrespect your daughter’s wishes. 

‘Him saying that it’s your duty to make sure he’s respected is laughable. If you want respect, it’s your duty to earn it.’

Others felt sorry for the step-father with some claiming he sounds more hurt than ‘entitled.’

One person said: ‘I don’t think he feel entitled. It’s that he feels hurt. Hurt that he probably just realized that the child he raised since 10 will never see him as parent even though he sees her as a daughter.’

Another said: ‘I believe op is NTA and that the stepdad is wrong for challenging the daughter on this but I don’t think he’s wrong for FEELING that way, he’s wrong for acting on it and being an AH about it.

‘You can feel emotions that if you were to act on them would make you an AH, but the feeling of the emotions may not be inherently bad in itself.’

Another wrote: ‘Yes, I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary for him to think what she said at the age of 10 could have changed 14 years later after he helped raised her.’ 

Source: Read Full Article